So now... Khushi's side of the jaadu hai nasha hai scene ;).
“We don’t forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because they need it—because we need it.”
— Bree Despain
A memory:
Khushi scrunched her eyes open to the sun falling on her face. The salty tracks of her tears still encrusted on her face, her arms numb from lying on them all night. She groaned, fumbling herself up. She had been lying on her journal, the words blurred and the page wet from her tears. She had made the mistake once more, after telling herself that she wouldn't, after consoling her heart over and over again she had committed it again. Her mind continued to replay the shock in his face, how he had removed her hand from his, how he had walked away and it pierced through her heart. Fresh tears sprang from her eyes once more, unable to understand how he could ignore her feelings over and over again.
She had decided the night before itself that she would not talk to him again. not look him in the face again but she knew deep down that she couldn't do it. She didn't have that strength in her. And right now he needed her, his father was ill, she knew how the fear gripped him, how his drinking had increased. She'd forgive him because she could see him slowly crumbling. She knew that he loved her, somewhere deep within, he loved her maybe in a different way than she expected but he still did. And that would be enough, for now it would have to be.
She had decided the night before itself that she would not talk to him again. not look him in the face again but she knew deep down that she couldn't do it. She didn't have that strength in her. And right now he needed her, his father was ill, she knew how the fear gripped him, how his drinking had increased. She'd forgive him because she could see him slowly crumbling. She knew that he loved her, somewhere deep within, he loved her maybe in a different way than she expected but he still did. And that would be enough, for now it would have to be.
"You're late!"
Khushi heard the annoyed yet divinely husky voice as if from a far away land, she smiled to herself, feeling her dream moving onto a happier one, grabbing what she thought to be a very hard pillow and hugging it to herself.
Arnav stared down at her face as she lay asleep, her face angelic and serene. He wanted to reach out and stroke her milky white skin, take the loose strands of hair off her face, brush them back and place a tender kiss on her rosy pink lips. He smiled down at her gently for a minute, taking advantage of the opportunity, then coming back to his senses attempted to wake her once more.
"Khushi! Get up! You're late!"
She scrunched up her forehead in annoyance. What the hell was this dream? She suddenly felt a presence near her and managed to pry one of her eyes open, looking up at a hazy annoyed face growling down at her. She jumped up on her bed immediately, narrowing her eyes at a seemingly annoyed Arnav.
"And stop suffocating my arm!" He growled again, and looking down at her hands she let go immediately, slightly embarrassed. Then gathering her self quickly, she began fixing her hair as she slid herself out of bed.
"Why the hell are you in my room when I'm sleeping?" She shouted annoyed, fixing her bed.
"Because you're LATE! Khushi hurry the hell up I do not have all day!"
She turned around to face him, storming up to him so that her face was only inches away from his. "So? Why are you waiting for me?"
"What the?! Did someone hit you with a baseball bat? You wanted to come to work with me!" He exclaimed, the anger building up.
Her eyes widened, an expression of complete shock on her face as she stepped back. "Oh shit! Oh shit!" She exclaimed then commenced running around the room. "I'm so sorry! I completely forgot! I'll be 5 minutes!" She shouted flinging her clothes left right and centre, then ran into the bathroom.
Arnav fell back on the bed letting out a sigh of disbelief. "She'll actually drive me mad one day!" He mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes to the heavens, then shutting them.
He sat up on the bed again as she shut the bathroom door and sat lost in his thoughts for a moment.
"Hey! Hello! Get out!" She shouted waving her hands in front of his face.
"Huh?" He mumbled, slightly flustered.
"Get out!" She screamed pulling him up and pushing him out of the room.
----
"So?" She asked landing into a chair, obviously speaking to an extremely non-responsive Arnav. Then rolling her eyes, she began mumbling to herself, "I guess I'll just have to be content with talking to myself then eh?"
He flitted his eyes up at her, gave her a disapproving look then looked back down. She made a face at him and continued.
"So when are you going to get a new interior designer?"
"In a month," he replied still assessing a file.
"Okay well I guess I can hang around till then," she mused quietly.
"What?" His head snapped up immediately, his forehead scrunching in confusion. "But? What?" He continued, completely baffled.
"Yeh, then I'll go back to Aberdeen, cut my holiday short and resume work," she replied not dropping her gaze for a second, her voice extremely matter-of-fact.
"But weren't you supposed to hang around here once you were married? Wait your wedding isn't for another month," his words came out quickly, as he struggled to comprehend what was going on. The idea slowly dawning on him, yet refusing to accept it.
"Yeh but I'm not getting married," she stated with finality and placing her palms on the desk pushed herself off of the chair and walked towards the glass panel of a wall, looking out over the hustle and bustle of the office below.
His eyes widened instantly, as they flitted around processing what she had just said. He had known it wasn't working out, that she didn't want it to happen but her father was adamant on it and Khushi had never been the type of person to refuse her parents. A constant feeling that she owed her life to them for bringing in an orphan and bringing her up, so this was surprising. This wasn't like Khushi, something was up. He slowly stood up, and paced over to her.
A slight smile played at Khushis lips as she felt him edging closer, her eyes twinkling with satisfaction at the thought of having stumped Arnav Singh Raizada. He didn't know what was coming.
~ If only she could be so oblivious again to feel such love without knowing it, mistaking it for laughter - Markus Zusak, The Book Theif ~
Khushi heard the annoyed yet divinely husky voice as if from a far away land, she smiled to herself, feeling her dream moving onto a happier one, grabbing what she thought to be a very hard pillow and hugging it to herself.
Arnav stared down at her face as she lay asleep, her face angelic and serene. He wanted to reach out and stroke her milky white skin, take the loose strands of hair off her face, brush them back and place a tender kiss on her rosy pink lips. He smiled down at her gently for a minute, taking advantage of the opportunity, then coming back to his senses attempted to wake her once more.
"Khushi! Get up! You're late!"
She scrunched up her forehead in annoyance. What the hell was this dream? She suddenly felt a presence near her and managed to pry one of her eyes open, looking up at a hazy annoyed face growling down at her. She jumped up on her bed immediately, narrowing her eyes at a seemingly annoyed Arnav.
"And stop suffocating my arm!" He growled again, and looking down at her hands she let go immediately, slightly embarrassed. Then gathering her self quickly, she began fixing her hair as she slid herself out of bed.
"Why the hell are you in my room when I'm sleeping?" She shouted annoyed, fixing her bed.
"Because you're LATE! Khushi hurry the hell up I do not have all day!"
She turned around to face him, storming up to him so that her face was only inches away from his. "So? Why are you waiting for me?"
"What the?! Did someone hit you with a baseball bat? You wanted to come to work with me!" He exclaimed, the anger building up.
Her eyes widened, an expression of complete shock on her face as she stepped back. "Oh shit! Oh shit!" She exclaimed then commenced running around the room. "I'm so sorry! I completely forgot! I'll be 5 minutes!" She shouted flinging her clothes left right and centre, then ran into the bathroom.
Arnav fell back on the bed letting out a sigh of disbelief. "She'll actually drive me mad one day!" He mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes to the heavens, then shutting them.
He sat up on the bed again as she shut the bathroom door and sat lost in his thoughts for a moment.
"Hey! Hello! Get out!" She shouted waving her hands in front of his face.
"Huh?" He mumbled, slightly flustered.
"Get out!" She screamed pulling him up and pushing him out of the room.
----
"So?" She asked landing into a chair, obviously speaking to an extremely non-responsive Arnav. Then rolling her eyes, she began mumbling to herself, "I guess I'll just have to be content with talking to myself then eh?"
He flitted his eyes up at her, gave her a disapproving look then looked back down. She made a face at him and continued.
"So when are you going to get a new interior designer?"
"In a month," he replied still assessing a file.
"Okay well I guess I can hang around till then," she mused quietly.
"What?" His head snapped up immediately, his forehead scrunching in confusion. "But? What?" He continued, completely baffled.
"Yeh, then I'll go back to Aberdeen, cut my holiday short and resume work," she replied not dropping her gaze for a second, her voice extremely matter-of-fact.
"But weren't you supposed to hang around here once you were married? Wait your wedding isn't for another month," his words came out quickly, as he struggled to comprehend what was going on. The idea slowly dawning on him, yet refusing to accept it.
"Yeh but I'm not getting married," she stated with finality and placing her palms on the desk pushed herself off of the chair and walked towards the glass panel of a wall, looking out over the hustle and bustle of the office below.
His eyes widened instantly, as they flitted around processing what she had just said. He had known it wasn't working out, that she didn't want it to happen but her father was adamant on it and Khushi had never been the type of person to refuse her parents. A constant feeling that she owed her life to them for bringing in an orphan and bringing her up, so this was surprising. This wasn't like Khushi, something was up. He slowly stood up, and paced over to her.
A slight smile played at Khushis lips as she felt him edging closer, her eyes twinkling with satisfaction at the thought of having stumped Arnav Singh Raizada. He didn't know what was coming.
He sighed placing his hand on her shoulder, closing his eyes for a second, rationalising his thoughts. "So let me get this straight, you aren't getting married? But aren't you usually the I'll work this out somehow type of person? You're going to walk away from something this time round?" He questioned, turning her round to face him, his molten brown eyes penetrating into hers. He wouldn't let on that he knew half the story, she wouldn't tell him anything that way and even what she would say would be partly influenced by him.
"Yes I am," she stated, holding his gaze equally. "I realised that by going ahead with it I wouldn't be doing justice to a lot of people, the main one being Aakash," she continued, not breaking eye contact for a second, taking in his every reaction.
He raised an eyebrow, still unable to grasp what she was getting to. Not doing justice to Aakash? What? But he let her continue because he knew she was here to provide an explanation today.
"It wouldn't be right to build a foundation as pure and respected as marriage on an illusion," she stepped back from him slightly, still holding his gaze. "The thing is, I've always willed my heart to love him, forced it to believe that this is what I want," she looked down, taking a deep breath, avoiding eye contact now. It was now or never. "But this isn't what I want, he's not who I love. I always have and always will love someone else," the last few words came out in a flurry, but he took a step back suddenly, the impact of what she had just said hitting him, his eyes widening finally in understanding, he looked away from her.
I always have and always will love someone else, those words replaying themselves over and over again in his mind. He felt her hand grasp his, the warmth of her touch sending a slight tremble through his body which had now turned cold. He looked down at it, for knowing nothing better that he could do, a reaction still not reaching his mind. She looked into his eyes, their gazes meeting, clashing, a slow smile spread across her lips.
"I'll let you think over what I just said, for once properly look into what I just meant," her voice was a bare audible whisper but it had a certainty and depth to it that had took every ounce of courage in her to bring forward. And with that she slid her hand out of his and without so much as a glance backwards walked out of the office, leaving behind a figure who seemed to have frozen to the spot.
Only once she got home did she let her mind think, unleashing the full effect of what she had just done to be pondered. Involuntary tears streaking down her face, tears of both sadness and joy. The next step would be his, she had done her part. She lay back on her bed, looking up to the little sparkles of glitter that caught the light on the stars hanging from her ceiling, focusing on each sparkle, how each bead of glitter sparkled on turn. All these years she had been afraid, not ready to lose a friendship that was so precious for something which had the power to make or break it. But it was done now, a tremble passed down her spine, her body shaking still at what she had dared at today, having finally acknowledged the truth of it all. It was better to have a relationship in what it was supposed to be than hold onto it forcefully, disguising the reality under a shiny coat of false hope...
~ And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you. - FEN Sinatra ~
nicee :)
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